(modified from the book "Slaying the Giants in your
Life" chapter 3 by David Jeremiah © 2001 by David Jeremiah)
All of us at time have felt loneliness. It may
because of separation from loved one or moving to a new place or
situation. We can especially feel lonely in a crowd of people because
we see other people enjoying themselves together but we are by
ourselves. It can lead to various emotional, social and physical
How do we define loneliness? David Jeremiah in
"Slaying the Giants in your Life" defines it this way. It is a sick
feeling in the stomach that seltzer water (medicine for upset stomach)
can not cure. It is an anxiety that does not come or go, but remains
with you at all times and smothers you in the quiet of the night. It is
is a sharp pang that jolts through you when you remember an old
experience. It is a subtle stress that quietly wears you down and
you lack energy or enthusiasm. Above all, loneliness is a longing
for completeness. What does the Bible say about this topic and how we
can deal with loneliness? That is the purpose of this study.
Study of God's Word
As you go through this lesson, read the verses in
Bible to help you find the answers. Try reading the verses first in a
Bible in your own
language (Chinese) and then in
an English version.
Note: If you would like to follow the
Bible verse link, it would be good to "right click" on the Bible
verse link and choose to open in new window resized the
window so that
can quickly go back and forth from this page to the verses. Try to
write down your answers to these questions.
Examples of people who felt lonely and
King David was chosen as God as a young man to
become the future King of Israel. He was the most successful and well
know of the kings. He was know as a man after God's own heart (Acts
13:22). God promised that one of his descendants would be the
savior and eternal ruler of mankind. This was and will be
fulfilled in Jesus Christ. (2
Samuel 7:11-16). David was also the author of many of the Psalms in
the Old Testament. Let us look at two of these Psalm as David describes
his feelings of loneliness.
Psalm 102:3-7 and Psalm 142:4.
What is the theme of these Psalms? Knowing
who David is, how can these verses be an encouragement when we feel
Answer: As you read these Psalms
written by King David we realize that even as great a faithful follow
of God as David can at times feel distressed and unable to eat as a
result of his feelings of loneliness. He feels no one cares about him.
We know from the Bible that the feelings that David expressed in these
verses did not last. This is an encouragement to know that great men
and women in the Bible are just like us and are able to communicate
their feelings to us. We really are not alone others have experienced
Jeremiah is known as the weeping prophet. He was
a faithful prophet of the Lord God who through his life warned his
people Israel that God would judge them if they continued to disobey
God. He lived to see the fulfillment of God's predictions as he watched
Jerusalem the capital of Israel being concerned and destroyed and his
people being taken away into a foreign country.
9:2. How would you describe his mood in this verse? (See also Jeremiah
Answer: Here we see another great
servant of God who feels isolated because of his serve and obedience to
God. He feels lonely for no one is listening to his message. Sometime
when we are try to obey God and follow His ways we may feel we are
different than others, that others do not believe and act the same as
we do. We feel alienated from others around us but again we are not
alone in feeling this way.
Paul was a great evangelist, teacher and started
a number of churches throughout western Asia and southern Europe. He
was used by God to write 13 books in the New Testament. If anyone could
be called a faith servant of the Lord it would be Paul. At the end of
his life he wrote his last book to a friend called Timothy. Read 2
As you read these verses, how would you
describe Paul's mood and feelings? What in his circumstances has
prompted theses feelings? Is there anything we can learn from Paul's
Answer: Here is a great man
of God who has helped a large number of people through out Asia and
Europe to find the love people and joy that comes with being a part of
the family of God, the church of God in theses area but now he feels
the pain of being alone. He is feeling the pain of being a lonely
servant of God; a lonely sufferer; a lonely senior, even a lonely
single adult. He knows your pain and loneliness. In this loneliness you
are not alone.
Jesus the Son of God
Do you think that Jesus ever felt
lonely? One of the last things Jesus said before He died on the cross
27:45-49. (see also Matthew
26:36-75) Note: the cup in v. 39, 42 refers to the
suffering he was to face as he is arrest and crucified.
Why do you think that during the
last few hours of His life on earth, in the unnatural darkness during
the afternoon (the sixth to ninth hour of the day would be from noon to
3:00 p.m.) that Jesus felt the loneliness of being forsake, rejected by
God his Father?
Answer: This is the time
when Jesus, our substitute, took our sin upon Himself and God the
Father in His holy justice carried out the judgment on His only
Son that we deserve for our sin (1
Peter 2:24). God can not look on sin and in this moment in time
when Jesus took our sin upon Himself, God turn away from Him.
What other events in the final day
of Jesus life would have intensified Jesus' alienation and loneliness?
Answer: Jesus was rejected
in may ways. His closest friends the disciples feel asleep in the
garden when He asked them to pray for Him (Matthew
26:36-46). One of them Judas betrayed Him to the authorities which
made it easier for them to arrest Him (Matthew
26:14-16; 47-50). After His arrest the other disciples deserted him
and fled (Matthew
26:56). Peter denied know Him three times (Matthew
26:69-75). Just think of the loneliness Jesus felt at this time. He
was the creator of all of mankind. He created us and came to die for us
because of His love. When He came, He was rejected by us. Even His
closest friends were not their to support Him when He needed them
most. Can our loneliness compare to what Jesus endured? He
Summary thoughts: To feel
lonely is not a sin, but we sin when we begin to focus on it or let it
control our lives and ruin our lives. It is a sin when we begin to
ignore the Bibles answers to overcome these feelings. Let us look at
the Bibles answers to give us freedom from being enslaved to feelings
Help for the Lonely
Acknowledge the Reality of Your
What is common to the four great
men of God we have studied above? How did they respond to their
Answer: these men we have
studied all admitted that they felt lonely. They confessed this to God
in prayer and to others as well. They did not hide their feelings. They
accepted feelings as real and were not ashamed of them.
How do you respond to feelings of
loneliness? Have you ever expressed you feelings of loneliness to
another person and they have not taken your feelings seriously or told
you that you should not feel this way? Did this help you or how did you
react? Does this give you an idea of how you should react to others who
tell you they are lonely?
Accept God's Provision for Your
Why did Jesus Christ come into
the world and face the suffering and ultimate loneliness of the cross?
See answer #4 above.
Answer: We need to
realize that only God can ultimately solve our problems including
our loneliness. When something is broken we consult the original
manufacturer, and for human beings God is the Original Manufacturer for
He created mankind in the beginning (Genesis
chapters 1& 2). He created us with certain characteristic, and
on these is that we have an emptiness only He can fill. Because of our
rebellion and sin against God's standard has alienated us from God so
that we do not know the fullness of a relationship with our Creator. To
restore our relationship with God is why came to earth. It is why Jesus
was willing to face the loneliness and rejection of the cross because
of His love for you so that you do not need to feel lonely and
rejected. He has done this so that your relationship with your creator
can be restored so that you can have a relationship with Him.
When we feel lonely we have a
promise from God that we are not alone. What is that promise (John
Answer: God has promise
that if we believe in the person and work of Christ Jesus on the cross
for us then the Spirit of God lives in us and God has made us one of
His children, we are a part of His family, our relationship with Him
has been restored.
Allow God's Word to Fill Your
Mind and Heart
In God's word there are many verses
that can comfort you in your loneliness if you allow it to fill your
mind. Try memorizing some of these verses so they will become a
part of your thinking process. Here are some of many verses to consider.
Get Connected with Your Network
of Christ Friends
You may feel lonely because you are
separated from your friends and family. If we have believed in Jesus
Christ, who He is and what He has done for us then He has given us
another family that can be found everywhere.
What is that family (John
1:12-13; Ephesians 1:5; 1 John 1:7)?
Answer: This family is
the family of God. We were created by God to have a relationship with
Him and others that He has created. As a believer, there is great
comfort in the fact that God loves us and has chosen us to be adopted
as one of His children (Ephesians 1:5). Thus all believers have been
adopted into a common family with God as our Father. As Jesus said, He
did not leave us as orphans (John
14:18-21). We are not complete until we are united in our
relationship with God and with others who have become a part of His
family again. We have many brothers and sister in this world. This
relationship or fellowship (1 John 1:7) is incomplete without the unity
of believers server one another through the spiritual gifts that God
gives each one of us and the greatest of these is love (1
How does this benefit us in our
Answer: We know that
when we need help and support that we are not alone, we have God and
other Christians brothers and sisters to share our burdens and trials
and to strengthen us.
Food for thought: Loneliness
is a choice, not the isolated moments we all experience, but the
lingering pervasive loneliness. You may think you do not know anybody,
but how will anyone know about you if you do not make yourself known?
To have a friend we need to be friendly - we need to take an interest
in others (Proverbs
18:24 New King James version). When we feel lonely it can be hard
to try to make friends but with a little effort God can provide you
with friends that will help you with your loneliness.